The fourth and final Pillar of Transformation is commitment to what we set out to do to correct our health. When we become empowered by what needs to be done, and have belief that is in alignment with a higher vision of what is possible, what remains is executing on the steps required. The information we provide on what needs to be done, does not necessarily equal a transformation when we don’t talk about how we’re going to do it.
The idea of “self-improvement” often invokes feelings of anxiety. Effort to change ourselves in the past have been from a place of “not-enoughness”. We believed in order to be a “good person”, we needed to battle our own weaknesses. When this strategy fails, we think we’re a “bad person” and believe any future attempts to improve ourselves will fail similarly; leaving us feeling powerless.
Well, let’s talk more about how to overcome this tendency in a more sustainable way.
First, it is helpful to speak to what it is that we bump up against when we try and improve ourselves. To give it a name, let’s call it “our pattern”. Neuroscience tells us that 95% of our waking life we operate out of our subconscious mind. Our subconscious, sometimes called the “unconscious mind”, is the culmination of all our past experiences, memories, traumas, conditionings, thoughts, opinions and beliefs we picked up along the way from our experiences. This includes all the messaging that enters our brain without our awareness (ex: advertisements seen through our peripheral vision).
If we are only consciously aware of our thoughts, beliefs and choices 5% of our day, then what chance do we stand against overriding our pattern? Our pattern doesn’t care about the good intentions we set out to manifest in the beginning. It is actually quite happy to forget all about that initial spark of motivation we feel when we first start out. It cares more about perpetuating the coping mechanisms it is conditioned to rely on. These coping mechanisms are self-indulgent and usually serve to keep us from experiencing something we’re afraid of (ex: our difficult emotions).
So then what is the method we recommend for making positive changes in our lives without having it feel like we need to do everything perfect, or that we are hopelessly victim to our habits and addictions? The answer is awareness. Awareness is a word that represents our consciousness. It is when we are perfectly aware of what’s happening in any given moment. We see the happening as it is, rather than through the unconscious filter of our thoughts, judgements and feelings.
What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you. You are always a slave to what you're not aware of. When you're aware of it, you're free from it." - Anthony de Mello
Even if we are repeating a habitual behavior, if we are aware of what we are doing in the moment, then the pattern starts to dissolve over time. An unconscious pattern can only survive in the shadows, where it resides unseen. But when we start to watch it, as if we are looking as an unbiased outside observer, it no longer has anywhere to hide. Now at least we know if we are making a choice that is in conflict with the intentions we made at the start, we are aware that it is going to have a consequence. And that awareness is enough to motivate a move to slowly and gently make better choices in the future.
It is not about self-flagellation and forcing ourselves to “do better”. That is a rather violent approach that does not have heart and compassion for the pattern. The pattern is just doing what it knows how to do. Exist and survive. It actually serves as a very essential and necessary function for our survival. So we don’t need to judge it or make it wrong. We’re all in the same boat here. This is the human experience. There is nothing broken about it.
When we look at our efforts in this way, then our intention and awareness is enough. We may stumble along the way. We may succeed for a while and take two steps forward, but every now and then take one step backward and fall victim to our pattern again. That’s okay. Two steps forward and one step backward means we are still moving in the right direction. It is how the path towards growth and healing looks for everyone. And it’s a little different for everyone as well.
No two people are the same. We are all on different journeys in life with different sets of personal challenges. We must try to never compare ourselves to others. It is quite unfair to our body which is constantly trying to move us towards optimal heal, 24/7. Instead, we can simply cultivate more awareness of what we are doing, rather than focusing on the tally of things we did right vs. wrong in the day.
While we are taking practical steps to make better choices from day to day, we also work on our capacity for awareness. This is where practices like meditation come into play. Meditation is all about exercising our awareness muscle and increasing our ability to step outside of our automatic patterns (thoughts, behaviors, reactions, etc) and watch them from an outside, non-partial perspective. We may still proceed to carry out the thought, behavior or reaction, but when we are aware of it’s happening in the moment, it starts to lose its grip. Eventually over time, we will have the power to make a different choice, only this time it won’t be the familiar violent process of force.
So there you have it. Vision, empowerment, belief and commitment. These are the foundational pillars that have been inspired by those who have managed to beat their cancer against all odds. It wasn’t so much the specifics of what they did as much as it was the way they responded to their difficult life circumstance that made all the difference. When we do anything in life with the right intention and energy, there is a certain ease that comes with letting go of all the tension and anxiety that normally drains us of vital energy required to heal.
If this all sounds like something you can get onboard with, we invite you to sign up for our free coaching services by clicking this link below.
